You Aren't For Everybody and Everybody Isn't For You

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Are you a people-pleaser? I have never been one to care too much if someone like me. Not to toot my own horn, but I know that I am a great person and that I will attract the right people in my life. But what about the people who strive to make others happy and obsess over having a multitude of people in their lives. Those are the people I am talking to today. If I described you, pull up a seat, and let’s have a chat!

Why is it that you aim to have everyone like you? Most often, it starts from your childhood. You wanted to seek approval from a parent or family member. As you get older, then you begin to want validation from your peers. You go above and beyond for them, are afraid to say no, and you do not dare say how you really feel towards certain things. Some people naturally want everyone to like them, and they want to feel accepted. But what you do not realize is that you are creating an unhealthy habit that will continue to get worse and worse.

What can you do to change it, you ask?

Let the idea of being liked by everyone go! In no way, shape or form should you be worried or obsessing over pleasing someone else, please YOU! We only get one life, and we cannot spend it people-pleasing. If you want to say, “no, I cannot do that today.” Say it. Or, “why are we doing the things you want to do?” Question it. Too often, we are afraid to speak our minds because we do not want the backlash, well, too bad.

And if someone cannot get with the program, what’s next?

It is time to cut some losses. This may include family, friends, or even a romantic relationship. I am not asking you to be SELFISH, just be a little less SELFLESS. As the saying goes, “treat people how you want to be treated,” if someone cannot reciprocate your efforts, then they serve no purpose in your life. People who take more than they give are not the people you want present in your life. Once you feel yourself beginning to be a “yes man,” it is time to take a step back and reevaluate some relationships.

Are you willing to make the change?

I am not asking you to walk around with your guard up every day, but I want you to realize your worth. Be around people who love and care for you as you do for them. Make this the year that you know who you are as a person and stand on it. You aren’t for everybody, and everybody isn’t for you.